Obsession confession

A: I think I'm obsessed with my weight.

B: Yeah, you are. (silence)

A: Hmm, give me evidence to support. You can't just agree.

B: You have to enjoy like what you eat. You can't just survive on drinking fibre and stuff.

A: But I do eat and enjoy eating! It's not like I do not eat, I only do that fibre thing when I'm in a hurry. It's just that my weighing scales are ALWAYS in front of me; in my bathroom. I've been weighing myself every day which is bad.

B: Yeah that's bad. Then just move the scales.

A: Yeah, I know.. but still. 

One way I learnt how to get rid of an obsession, to reduce and (eventually) eliminate temptation is to run from it; to head towards the opposite direction. In my life there has/have been a lot of temptations. One of which is my weight. My weight has/have been a huge issue in my life. Nearly every time I go back to Malaysia there will be relos buzzing around saying how I've 'gone fatter', 'slimmed down', etc. Man, I really do not like it when they do that -.-".. I used to be really really affected by it when I was younger. Once in Malaysia, at the hotel breakfast, I started crying and ran up to my hotel room just because a member of the family started demanding why I got myself "fat". like DUH, of course I'd be affected by it! How can an adult demand/accuse a growing child/teen of being fat?! -.-" Anyway because of such influences, a weight obsession grew in my life. I would weigh myself and if I saw that I didn't lose weight, remained the same weight or put on weight I would be SOOOOOO depressed. I would change my daily routine to try to lose weight.. I would be super self-conscious, timid, obsessed, etc. Obviously this was not a healthy lifestyle and I knew it was a super unhealthy lifestyle. I hated how weight controlled my life, so I decided to run away from it. Like running away from a temptation whenever it appears in front of me,.. As a "symbolic" yet practical way of getting rid of my obsession, I hid my weighing scale or put it in a far corner of the house where I would rarely pass. Instead of focussing on my weight, I would focus on eating healthy and exercising regularly. It was hard though.. like at the gym, there would be a weighing scale and whenever I pass it there would be a thought/temptation to go and weigh myself. Of course in reality it is all right to weigh oneself, but I just felt that if I did step onto a weighing scale.. my obsession would bloom. So, I just cut myself off.

1 Corinthians 10:13
The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

I guess the way God showed me how to get out of my "temptation" to weigh myself was to run from it. Anyway, it's time to hide the weighing scales again.